So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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