See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
