cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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