It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
