i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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