Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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