Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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