I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
