my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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