honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
