Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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