Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
