so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
