I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
