I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
