? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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