Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
