yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
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He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
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Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize