Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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