Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
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1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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