I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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