There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
