CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
