I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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