I'm sorry my penis didn't work
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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