if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
