then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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