I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
