just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize