So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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