things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
