just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
