How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
