I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
