she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
