Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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