my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
