after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You were trust falling into bushes
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
