That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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