brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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