Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
