how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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