It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
