New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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