Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
