C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
