I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
