week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
