life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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