if you like me you must not know who I am
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
