What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
