oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
