PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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