What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
