he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
