ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
