She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
