If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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