I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
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Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
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I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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