either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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