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Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I AM VODKA MAN
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
