YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
