but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
