I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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